Jokes to ease the tension

Husband , Bob, says to wife , Barbara .

I just got a text that Tom was in a bad accident and to pray for Tom,

Barbara asks “ Were Susie and the kids in the Car too?

Bob says , “ I don’t know I just got a text about Tom” ,

Barbara says , “ Were the other people in the other car hurt?

Bob says ,” I don’t know , I just got a text that Tom was in a bad Accident ,”

Barbara says ,” Do you know what Hospital he’s in ?”
Bob says , “ I don’t know , I just got a text that Tom was in a bad accident and to pray for Tom”

Barbara says , “ You really don’t know anything , do you? “


Bob says , “ I know I got a text that says Tom was in a bad Accident and to pray for Tom “
 
Two cannibals are sitting around the vampire. One says, man I hate my mother in law. The other says just eat the noodles.
 
Bill and Mary an older couple go to the food store together.

Bill places a can of canned peaches in his pocket.

Bill gets caught.

Bill stands before the Judge who asks him, "Now sir, how many peaches were in that can?"

Bill answers "Why, six, Your Honor"

Judge to Bill: "I am going to sentence you to six days in jail, one for each peach in the can".

Mary pipes up and says to the Judge: "Your Honor, my husband also stole .........................................................................................................................................................................a CAN OF PEAS!"
 
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