Jokes to ease the tension

During football season, I have a standing Tuesday night call with a friend. We review the games that were just played, discuss the upcoming week, fantasy recap, etc. His whole life is the NFL, and he watches every game.

He calls me and asks:
So, what did you do last night?
Uh, I watched the game…
Know what I did? I had sex with my girlfriend for 3 hours.
3 hours?
Yep, I timed it! We were role playing, doctor and patient. I was the “doctor”, and I was in my “office”, aka the bedroom, watching MNF. I kept the “patient” in the hallway for 2:58, before I let her in for our “appointment”. I’m the king!
 
A man nd a woman are in bed together.

The man receives a text on his phone and starts to read it.

The woman asks “Who is the text from.”

The man replies “It’s from my wife. She says that she is at the mall shopping with you and that she is going to be late.”
 
A man nd a woman are in bed together.

The man receives a text on his phone and starts to read it.

The woman asks “Who is the text from.”

The man replies “It’s from my wife. She says that she is at the mall shopping with you and that she is going to be late.”
Thanks for this one. Been added to my list of jokes.
 
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.

The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
 
Back
Top