Jokes to ease the tension

So, I'm in a bar and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me. I say, "Cool accents, are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them yells, "It's Wales, you idiot." So I said, "Ok, are you two Whales from Scotland?"

I don't remember much after that.
Old adage; "Go fat first."
 
The F are you guys even talking about?
Batman Top GIF
 
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going there.
I had sex with a blind women the other night. She said I had the biggest dick she’d ever put her hands on. I told her to stop pulling my leg.
 
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