Jokes to ease the tension

Spocky Ramone said:
Just to clarify…

Is this a joke or the real life experience of one (or more… or all) of the posters on this site? (excepting Jack Williams of course, but he’s been around here so long he probably has an honorary AARP membership)
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A joke but for me, not yet (although at some places they ask for id from everyone who buys Alcohol including sometimes at MSG).

I do know a guy who kept getting asked for ID because he looked considerably younger until he was about 40 at which time he was a Lieutenant on a police force.
 
This man goes to a house of ill repute. He sees the woman he wants and asks how much? She says $500.

The man looks in his wallet and says he only has $100. The woman laughs and says I charge $500.

So the man walks out.

The next day. The man is having dinner in an outside restaurant with his wife and the woman he was interested in was walking by. She notices the man and walks over to him and says “you see what $100 gets you?”
 
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A pretty young lady got on a crowded crosstown bus. A gentlemen who was sitting down looked up at her and offered her a seat. She agreed to the offer but then suddenly a fight broke out. Apparently the gentleman’s wife objected and refused to give up her seat to the young lady.
 
I found this funny. A Phillies fan wore a t-shirt during the Mets/Phillies series in London that said the following:

“The British blew a thirteen Colony lead”
 

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A guy goes to Chicago for a convention. He's heard Chicago is a wild town and tells the taxi driver, "Wait here, I'm gonna check in, then I want you to take me somewhere crazy". After he checks in, the driver brings him to a big house with a red light out front. He tells the madam, "This is my first time in Chicago, I want to try something different". She says she knows what he means and sends him up the stairs to room #3. There's no one in the room, but there's a chicken clucking in the corner. After waiting 10 minutes, he realizes that the chicken is his 'something different', so he gives it a try and it's unbelievable!

The next day, he hardly pays attention to the meetings and seminars he's attending, just thinking about getting back to the red-light house. Finally he cuts out an hour early and heads straight there. The madam tells him to go to room #2. He bounds up the stairs with excitement and enters the room. It's almost completely dark, but after a minute, he can see there are rows of chairs and people sitting facing a huge two-way mirror. He sits down and starts watching the action on the other side of the mirror. There are two guys getting it on with a couple of squirrels. He says to the guy next to him, "This is amazing!". The guy answers without taking his eyes off the action, "You should've been here last night. There was a guy f---ing a chicken"!
 
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