Obekpa Suspended

[beast of the east]

Odd tweet by @sammyalbano
@SammyAlbano: Is it true the @StJohnsBBall charter 2 Charlotte may be even lighter than the Obekpaless flite was expecting ? #sjubb @SJUCoachLavin

??? anyone?

Not to read into this stuff, but there appears to be an undercurrent of sardonic glee, or at least validating contempt

 

[beast of the east]

speaking of relative morality perhaps in Obekpa's past, coming from Africa, marijuana use is a common practice and not blatantly wrong as in New York. Still I am sure the team emphasizes no drug use, yet it counters his culture. A dilemma for sure.

I can also assure you that I know for a fact players that played in NCAA college games high on LSD.

So is cannibalism and shrunken heads, but I wouldn't associate those with intelligent, contemporary Africans either, nor make excuses if Obekpa ate ADR, or shrunk Lavin's giant head.

 

[logen]

I'm not scanning through 32 pages, he got suspended for weed?

I'm not a Lavin apologist, but how is this his fault? If this is true, this bozo goes out and gets high before his (probable) only NCAA Tournament?? What the eff was/is he thinking?

Was the Pittsburgh strip club incident at least partly Jarvis' fault?

This is what it's come to? It's not Obekpa's fault? He smoked the weed. It was an instant gratification move on his part. I'm assuming there was no gun to his head and considering he's the only one suspended, he didn't puff it with anyone else on the team.

I wouldn't miss Lavin one bit, but blaming him for this is a mistake. CO made a stupid decision, one he'll have to live with the rest of his life.

I blame him more for the culture then for the actual act. There's been a pattern.

I don't even know what to say to this. Unless Lavin rolled it and shotgunned into his mouth or packed the bowl and said "smoke this ish or else," I'm not blaming him.

I'm sorry. People have to still be accountable for their own actions. I know society always needs a scapegoat, and God knows Lavin can be blamed for other things (or his inability to coach properly) but this is ALL Obekpa's fault.

He smoked (allegedly, I guess), he knew what was at stake, and he had his greatest game ahead of him and HE STILL DID IT. Not Lavin, OBEKPA did it. He cost himself and, probably, cost the entire team. Selfish. Point blank

Agree with everything you're saying other than to give Lavin a complete pass on this. When my kids-20 and 16 years old-do something stupid I blame them, but I also take partial blame as the parent. So maybe its just my perspective on things.

It's not only what he did, but when he did it. He gets caught doing this in June after school is over, it doesn't bother me so much. Even in April or May after the season is over. But now he has affected the outcome of their season, and that's not forgivable. If any of my kids at that age do something like that, I'm not to blame, and I certainly would hold them fully accountable - not their roommates, friends, teachers, or coaches. Put the blame where blame belongs, and you're a better parent. Take some of the blame, and you're giving them a crutch.

Beast I said pretty much the exact same thing about the timing of this in another post. FWIW while I take some of the blame when my kids screw up, I don't share that with them. If my kid(s) continually screw up then the way I see it I didn't do such a good job as parent. But as I mentioned before, maybe that's just me.

I've always said to my kids, half seriously, before you get in the car with someone who is under the influence or feel unsafe in any way, call me. No matter where I am I will come get you or make sure you are safe. On the other hand, I've told them if they ever get arrested, don't call me.

Monte, I understand what you are saying, but as parents we are only one part of our children's environment, and not responsible for their actions. You are responsible for teaching them right from wrong, for providing for them opportunities that perhaps we didn't have, and for disciplining them when they step out of line. If you are a poor example, as in do as I say but not as I do, then, yea are somewhat accountable when they do some of the things you do and it gets them in trouble. But at some point, you're not to blame. I have friends who have worked hard as parents, and have problem children - not their fault. On the other hand, almost all of my social activities revolve around my family. I rarely go to an SJU game without someone in my family, and that's the best part of it for me.

I realize you are talking your kids here so I am not being in any way flippant or disrespectful, I am commenting as a parent myself on real life not basketball.. You say you've told your kids not to call you if they get arrested but cops are people too and mistakes are made by all human beings. If your kids were arrested but are innocent of the charges wouldn't you want to be the one they turn to? Me, I feel differently, I agree almost entirely with your description of parenting in the last paragraph but I will be there for all members of my family regardless (11 brothers and sisters and countless nieces and nephews, etc.). Not saying either view is right or wrong at all; different strokes for different folks.

In no way, shape or form is this a knock on Beast, who I happen to know is a wonderful parent. But the only thing I might add is that it wouldn't matter if my kid was innocent or guilty, as pissed off at him/her as I'd be, I'd go get his/her ass out of jail. And then I'd rip him/her a new one. Actually from some of the biggest mistakes my kids have made, I've found the opportunity for some of my best teaching moments. Thankfully I haven't seen repeats of the same big mistakes twice, but there's never a shortage of new ones when it comes to teenagers But as you do, I do not tell anyone how to parent. There's no blueprint and no "one size fits all" method.

Could not agree more. As a parent of two, one a 28 yeard old gal who made parenting too easy and a mid 20 year old male who also gave me the opportunity for many, many "teaching moments" inhis teen years, I hear you. Thankfully, my son grew up without my worst fears during those years being realized and has left his wild days behind. Parenting is not easy and there truly is no formula. Finally, I do not know Beast but I don't doubt for a second he is a wonderful parent. While he and I disagree on many matters of SJU basketball and sometimes give the needle both ways he strikes me as nothing but a solid person.

 

[beast of the east]

I'm not scanning through 32 pages, he got suspended for weed?

I'm not a Lavin apologist, but how is this his fault? If this is true, this bozo goes out and gets high before his (probable) only NCAA Tournament?? What the eff was/is he thinking?

Was the Pittsburgh strip club incident at least partly Jarvis' fault?

This is what it's come to? It's not Obekpa's fault? He smoked the weed. It was an instant gratification move on his part. I'm assuming there was no gun to his head and considering he's the only one suspended, he didn't puff it with anyone else on the team.

I wouldn't miss Lavin one bit, but blaming him for this is a mistake. CO made a stupid decision, one he'll have to live with the rest of his life.

I blame him more for the culture then for the actual act. There's been a pattern.

I don't even know what to say to this. Unless Lavin rolled it and shotgunned into his mouth or packed the bowl and said "smoke this ish or else," I'm not blaming him.

I'm sorry. People have to still be accountable for their own actions. I know society always needs a scapegoat, and God knows Lavin can be blamed for other things (or his inability to coach properly) but this is ALL Obekpa's fault.

He smoked (allegedly, I guess), he knew what was at stake, and he had his greatest game ahead of him and HE STILL DID IT. Not Lavin, OBEKPA did it. He cost himself and, probably, cost the entire team. Selfish. Point blank

Agree with everything you're saying other than to give Lavin a complete pass on this. When my kids-20 and 16 years old-do something stupid I blame them, but I also take partial blame as the parent. So maybe its just my perspective on things.

It's not only what he did, but when he did it. He gets caught doing this in June after school is over, it doesn't bother me so much. Even in April or May after the season is over. But now he has affected the outcome of their season, and that's not forgivable. If any of my kids at that age do something like that, I'm not to blame, and I certainly would hold them fully accountable - not their roommates, friends, teachers, or coaches. Put the blame where blame belongs, and you're a better parent. Take some of the blame, and you're giving them a crutch.

Beast I said pretty much the exact same thing about the timing of this in another post. FWIW while I take some of the blame when my kids screw up, I don't share that with them. If my kid(s) continually screw up then the way I see it I didn't do such a good job as parent. But as I mentioned before, maybe that's just me.

I've always said to my kids, half seriously, before you get in the car with someone who is under the influence or feel unsafe in any way, call me. No matter where I am I will come get you or make sure you are safe. On the other hand, I've told them if they ever get arrested, don't call me.

Monte, I understand what you are saying, but as parents we are only one part of our children's environment, and not responsible for their actions. You are responsible for teaching them right from wrong, for providing for them opportunities that perhaps we didn't have, and for disciplining them when they step out of line. If you are a poor example, as in do as I say but not as I do, then, yea are somewhat accountable when they do some of the things you do and it gets them in trouble. But at some point, you're not to blame. I have friends who have worked hard as parents, and have problem children - not their fault. On the other hand, almost all of my social activities revolve around my family. I rarely go to an SJU game without someone in my family, and that's the best part of it for me.

I realize you are talking your kids here so I am not being in any way flippant or disrespectful, I am commenting as a parent myself on real life not basketball.. You say you've told your kids not to call you if they get arrested but cops are people too and mistakes are made by all human beings. If your kids were arrested but are innocent of the charges wouldn't you want to be the one they turn to? Me, I feel differently, I agree almost entirely with your description of parenting in the last paragraph but I will be there for all members of my family regardless (11 brothers and sisters and countless nieces and nephews, etc.). Not saying either view is right or wrong at all; different strokes for different folks.

In no way, shape or form is this a knock on Beast, who I happen to know is a wonderful parent. But the only thing I might add is that it wouldn't matter if my kid was innocent or guilty, as pissed off at him/her as I'd be, I'd go get his/her ass out of jail. And then I'd rip him/her a new one. Actually from some of the biggest mistakes my kids have made, I've found the opportunity for some of my best teaching moments. Thankfully I haven't seen repeats of the same big mistakes twice, but there's never a shortage of new ones when it comes to teenagers But as you do, I do not tell anyone how to parent. There's no blueprint and no "one size fits all" method.

Could not agree more. As a parent of two, one a 28 yeard old gal who made parenting too easy and a mid 20 year old male who also gave me the opportunity for many, many "teaching moments" inhis teen years, I hear you. Thankfully, my son grew up without my worst fears during those years being realized and has left his wild days behind. Parenting is not easy and there truly is no formula. Finally, I do not know Beast but I don't doubt for a second he is a wonderful parent. While he and I disagree on many matters of SJU basketball and sometimes give the needle both ways he strikes me as nothing but a solid person.

Thank you. The respect is mutual, Logen.

 

[logen]

I'm not scanning through 32 pages, he got suspended for weed?

I'm not a Lavin apologist, but how is this his fault? If this is true, this bozo goes out and gets high before his (probable) only NCAA Tournament?? What the eff was/is he thinking?

Was the Pittsburgh strip club incident at least partly Jarvis' fault?

This is what it's come to? It's not Obekpa's fault? He smoked the weed. It was an instant gratification move on his part. I'm assuming there was no gun to his head and considering he's the only one suspended, he didn't puff it with anyone else on the team.

I wouldn't miss Lavin one bit, but blaming him for this is a mistake. CO made a stupid decision, one he'll have to live with the rest of his life.

I blame him more for the culture then for the actual act. There's been a pattern.

I don't even know what to say to this. Unless Lavin rolled it and shotgunned into his mouth or packed the bowl and said "smoke this ish or else," I'm not blaming him.

I'm sorry. People have to still be accountable for their own actions. I know society always needs a scapegoat, and God knows Lavin can be blamed for other things (or his inability to coach properly) but this is ALL Obekpa's fault.

He smoked (allegedly, I guess), he knew what was at stake, and he had his greatest game ahead of him and HE STILL DID IT. Not Lavin, OBEKPA did it. He cost himself and, probably, cost the entire team. Selfish. Point blank

Agree with everything you're saying other than to give Lavin a complete pass on this. When my kids-20 and 16 years old-do something stupid I blame them, but I also take partial blame as the parent. So maybe its just my perspective on things.

It's not only what he did, but when he did it. He gets caught doing this in June after school is over, it doesn't bother me so much. Even in April or May after the season is over. But now he has affected the outcome of their season, and that's not forgivable. If any of my kids at that age do something like that, I'm not to blame, and I certainly would hold them fully accountable - not their roommates, friends, teachers, or coaches. Put the blame where blame belongs, and you're a better parent. Take some of the blame, and you're giving them a crutch.

Beast I said pretty much the exact same thing about the timing of this in another post. FWIW while I take some of the blame when my kids screw up, I don't share that with them. If my kid(s) continually screw up then the way I see it I didn't do such a good job as parent. But as I mentioned before, maybe that's just me.

I've always said to my kids, half seriously, before you get in the car with someone who is under the influence or feel unsafe in any way, call me. No matter where I am I will come get you or make sure you are safe. On the other hand, I've told them if they ever get arrested, don't call me.

Monte, I understand what you are saying, but as parents we are only one part of our children's environment, and not responsible for their actions. You are responsible for teaching them right from wrong, for providing for them opportunities that perhaps we didn't have, and for disciplining them when they step out of line. If you are a poor example, as in do as I say but not as I do, then, yea are somewhat accountable when they do some of the things you do and it gets them in trouble. But at some point, you're not to blame. I have friends who have worked hard as parents, and have problem children - not their fault. On the other hand, almost all of my social activities revolve around my family. I rarely go to an SJU game without someone in my family, and that's the best part of it for me.

I realize you are talking your kids here so I am not being in any way flippant or disrespectful, I am commenting as a parent myself on real life not basketball.. You say you've told your kids not to call you if they get arrested but cops are people too and mistakes are made by all human beings. If your kids were arrested but are innocent of the charges wouldn't you want to be the one they turn to? Me, I feel differently, I agree almost entirely with your description of parenting in the last paragraph but I will be there for all members of my family regardless (11 brothers and sisters and countless nieces and nephews, etc.). Not saying either view is right or wrong at all; different strokes for different folks.

In no way, shape or form is this a knock on Beast, who I happen to know is a wonderful parent. But the only thing I might add is that it wouldn't matter if my kid was innocent or guilty, as pissed off at him/her as I'd be, I'd go get his/her ass out of jail. And then I'd rip him/her a new one. Actually from some of the biggest mistakes my kids have made, I've found the opportunity for some of my best teaching moments. Thankfully I haven't seen repeats of the same big mistakes twice, but there's never a shortage of new ones when it comes to teenagers But as you do, I do not tell anyone how to parent. There's no blueprint and no "one size fits all" method.

Could not agree more. As a parent of two, one a 28 yeard old gal who made parenting too easy and a mid 20 year old male who also gave me the opportunity for many, many "teaching moments" inhis teen years, I hear you. Thankfully, my son grew up without my worst fears during those years being realized and has left his wild days behind. Parenting is not easy and there truly is no formula. Finally, I do not know Beast but I don't doubt for a second he is a wonderful parent. While he and I disagree on many matters of SJU basketball and sometimes give the needle both ways he strikes me as nothing but a solid person.

Thank you. The respect is mutual, Logen.

Thanks right back at you; what makes this a great site IMO.

 

[thetux1]

Odd tweet by @sammyalbano
@SammyAlbano: Is it true the @StJohnsBBall charter 2 Charlotte may be even lighter than the Obekpaless flite was expecting ? #sjubb @SJUCoachLavin

??? anyone?

Not to read into this stuff, but there appears to be an undercurrent of sardonic glee, or at least validating contempt

I just heard a rumor about the other 3 that might not be making the trip. Don't wanna post their names in case it's not true but unless we have an injury or foul trouble it shouldn't effect the outcome of the game

 

[SJU14]

Odd tweet by @sammyalbano
@SammyAlbano: Is it true the @StJohnsBBall charter 2 Charlotte may be even lighter than the Obekpaless flite was expecting ? #sjubb @SJUCoachLavin

??? anyone?

Not to read into this stuff, but there appears to be an undercurrent of sardonic glee, or at least validating contempt

I just heard a rumor about the other 3 that might not be making the trip. Don't wanna post their names in case it's not true but unless we have an injury or foul trouble it shouldn't effect the outcome of the game

My man, go check out the "Roster" thread.

 

[thetux1]

Odd tweet by @sammyalbano
@SammyAlbano: Is it true the @StJohnsBBall charter 2 Charlotte may be even lighter than the Obekpaless flite was expecting ? #sjubb @SJUCoachLavin

??? anyone?

Not to read into this stuff, but there appears to be an undercurrent of sardonic glee, or at least validating contempt

I just heard a rumor about the other 3 that might not be making the trip. Don't wanna post their names in case it's not true but unless we have an injury or foul trouble it shouldn't effect the outcome of the game

My man, go check out the "Roster" thread.

ah too many posts here to read and not enough time

 

[OLV72]

Looks like Chris may be the last to be suspended for weed. NCAA, working through the Big 5 Football Conferences, will implement transparent and uniform drug testing and punishments. Marijuana testing may be left out of the testing with schools to adopt their own comprehensive deterrence programs.


http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-ncaas-drug-problem-1426792929

 

[Class of 72]

Looks like Chris may be the last to be suspended for weed. NCAA, working through the Big 5 Football Conferences, will implement transparent and uniform drug testing and punishments. Marijuana testing may be left out of the testing with schools to adopt their own comprehensive deterrence programs.


http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-ncaas-drug-problem-1426792929

Working through the Big Five. LMFAO!
They are protecting their income stream and allowing the inmates to run the asylum.
It is about time regarding weed since football players have been getting shit faced on booze since Teddy Roosevelt.

 

[Joeche]

I'm not scanning through 32 pages, he got suspended for weed?

I'm not a Lavin apologist, but how is this his fault? If this is true, this bozo goes out and gets high before his (probable) only NCAA Tournament?? What the eff was/is he thinking?

Was the Pittsburgh strip club incident at least partly Jarvis' fault?

This is what it's come to? It's not Obekpa's fault? He smoked the weed. It was an instant gratification move on his part. I'm assuming there was no gun to his head and considering he's the only one suspended, he didn't puff it with anyone else on the team.

I wouldn't miss Lavin one bit, but blaming him for this is a mistake. CO made a stupid decision, one he'll have to live with the rest of his life.

I blame him more for the culture then for the actual act. There's been a pattern.

I don't even know what to say to this. Unless Lavin rolled it and shotgunned into his mouth or packed the bowl and said "smoke this ish or else," I'm not blaming him.

I'm sorry. People have to still be accountable for their own actions. I know society always needs a scapegoat, and God knows Lavin can be blamed for other things (or his inability to coach properly) but this is ALL Obekpa's fault.

He smoked (allegedly, I guess), he knew what was at stake, and he had his greatest game ahead of him and HE STILL DID IT. Not Lavin, OBEKPA did it. He cost himself and, probably, cost the entire team. Selfish. Point blank

Agree with everything you're saying other than to give Lavin a complete pass on this. When my kids-20 and 16 years old-do something stupid I blame them, but I also take partial blame as the parent. So maybe its just my perspective on things.

It's not only what he did, but when he did it. He gets caught doing this in June after school is over, it doesn't bother me so much. Even in April or May after the season is over. But now he has affected the outcome of their season, and that's not forgivable. If any of my kids at that age do something like that, I'm not to blame, and I certainly would hold them fully accountable - not their roommates, friends, teachers, or coaches. Put the blame where blame belongs, and you're a better parent. Take some of the blame, and you're giving them a crutch.

Beast I said pretty much the exact same thing about the timing of this in another post. FWIW while I take some of the blame when my kids screw up, I don't share that with them. If my kid(s) continually screw up then the way I see it I didn't do such a good job as parent. But as I mentioned before, maybe that's just me.

I've always said to my kids, half seriously, before you get in the car with someone who is under the influence or feel unsafe in any way, call me. No matter where I am I will come get you or make sure you are safe. On the other hand, I've told them if they ever get arrested, don't call me.

Monte, I understand what you are saying, but as parents we are only one part of our children's environment, and not responsible for their actions. You are responsible for teaching them right from wrong, for providing for them opportunities that perhaps we didn't have, and for disciplining them when they step out of line. If you are a poor example, as in do as I say but not as I do, then, yea are somewhat accountable when they do some of the things you do and it gets them in trouble. But at some point, you're not to blame. I have friends who have worked hard as parents, and have problem children - not their fault. On the other hand, almost all of my social activities revolve around my family. I rarely go to an SJU game without someone in my family, and that's the best part of it for me.

I realize you are talking your kids here so I am not being in any way flippant or disrespectful, I am commenting as a parent myself on real life not basketball.. You say you've told your kids not to call you if they get arrested but cops are people too and mistakes are made by all human beings. If your kids were arrested but are innocent of the charges wouldn't you want to be the one they turn to? Me, I feel differently, I agree almost entirely with your description of parenting in the last paragraph but I will be there for all members of my family regardless (11 brothers and sisters and countless nieces and nephews, etc.). Not saying either view is right or wrong at all; different strokes for different folks.

In no way, shape or form is this a knock on Beast, who I happen to know is a wonderful parent. But the only thing I might add is that it wouldn't matter if my kid was innocent or guilty, as pissed off at him/her as I'd be, I'd go get his/her ass out of jail. And then I'd rip him/her a new one. Actually from some of the biggest mistakes my kids have made, I've found the opportunity for some of my best teaching moments. Thankfully I haven't seen repeats of the same big mistakes twice, but there's never a shortage of new ones when it comes to teenagers But as you do, I do not tell anyone how to parent. There's no blueprint and no "one size fits all" method.

Could not agree more. As a parent of two, one a 28 yeard old gal who made parenting too easy and a mid 20 year old male who also gave me the opportunity for many, many "teaching moments" inhis teen years, I hear you. Thankfully, my son grew up without my worst fears during those years being realized and has left his wild days behind. Parenting is not easy and there truly is no formula. Finally, I do not know Beast but I don't doubt for a second he is a wonderful parent. While he and I disagree on many matters of SJU basketball and sometimes give the needle both ways he strikes me as nothing but a solid person.

Thank you. The respect is mutual, Logen.

Thanks right back at you; what makes this a great site IMO.

All I can add to this, is to say I'm glad I raised 3 daughters who never gave me cause to get them from the police in the middle of the night. That said, I am frankly not surprised that Obepka who in my opinion has displayed an arrogant disregard for authority during games was caught committing an act that in this context at least was stupid and selfish. Does that fall back on the coach? Yes, it does. If my kids got suspended from school for a dumb act, it would certainly be a commentary on my parenting, just as the conduct of the Redmen in Pittsburg was a reflection of the arrogant A-hole who was supposed to be their mentor then. Kids have to take responsibility for their actions, but that doesn't give their parents (or coaches) a pass.

 

[jumbo_peanuts]

Looks like Chris may be the last to be suspended for weed. NCAA, working through the Big 5 Football Conferences, will implement transparent and uniform drug testing and punishments. Marijuana testing may be left out of the testing with schools to adopt their own comprehensive deterrence programs.


http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-ncaas-drug-problem-1426792929

Working through the Big Five. LMFAO!
They are protecting their income stream and allowing the inmates to run the asylum.
It is about time regarding weed since football players have been getting shit faced on booze since Teddy Roosevelt.

Why wouldn't they work through the Big Five? Do the math: a Michigan or Penn State home football game - 100K fans. A SJU home basketball game - maybe 10K fans. It's not difficult.

 

[beast of the east]

I'm not scanning through 32 pages, he got suspended for weed?

I'm not a Lavin apologist, but how is this his fault? If this is true, this bozo goes out and gets high before his (probable) only NCAA Tournament?? What the eff was/is he thinking?

Was the Pittsburgh strip club incident at least partly Jarvis' fault?

This is what it's come to? It's not Obekpa's fault? He smoked the weed. It was an instant gratification move on his part. I'm assuming there was no gun to his head and considering he's the only one suspended, he didn't puff it with anyone else on the team.

I wouldn't miss Lavin one bit, but blaming him for this is a mistake. CO made a stupid decision, one he'll have to live with the rest of his life.

I blame him more for the culture then for the actual act. There's been a pattern.

I don't even know what to say to this. Unless Lavin rolled it and shotgunned into his mouth or packed the bowl and said "smoke this ish or else," I'm not blaming him.

I'm sorry. People have to still be accountable for their own actions. I know society always needs a scapegoat, and God knows Lavin can be blamed for other things (or his inability to coach properly) but this is ALL Obekpa's fault.

He smoked (allegedly, I guess), he knew what was at stake, and he had his greatest game ahead of him and HE STILL DID IT. Not Lavin, OBEKPA did it. He cost himself and, probably, cost the entire team. Selfish. Point blank

Agree with everything you're saying other than to give Lavin a complete pass on this. When my kids-20 and 16 years old-do something stupid I blame them, but I also take partial blame as the parent. So maybe its just my perspective on things.

It's not only what he did, but when he did it. He gets caught doing this in June after school is over, it doesn't bother me so much. Even in April or May after the season is over. But now he has affected the outcome of their season, and that's not forgivable. If any of my kids at that age do something like that, I'm not to blame, and I certainly would hold them fully accountable - not their roommates, friends, teachers, or coaches. Put the blame where blame belongs, and you're a better parent. Take some of the blame, and you're giving them a crutch.

Beast I said pretty much the exact same thing about the timing of this in another post. FWIW while I take some of the blame when my kids screw up, I don't share that with them. If my kid(s) continually screw up then the way I see it I didn't do such a good job as parent. But as I mentioned before, maybe that's just me.

I've always said to my kids, half seriously, before you get in the car with someone who is under the influence or feel unsafe in any way, call me. No matter where I am I will come get you or make sure you are safe. On the other hand, I've told them if they ever get arrested, don't call me.

Monte, I understand what you are saying, but as parents we are only one part of our children's environment, and not responsible for their actions. You are responsible for teaching them right from wrong, for providing for them opportunities that perhaps we didn't have, and for disciplining them when they step out of line. If you are a poor example, as in do as I say but not as I do, then, yea are somewhat accountable when they do some of the things you do and it gets them in trouble. But at some point, you're not to blame. I have friends who have worked hard as parents, and have problem children - not their fault. On the other hand, almost all of my social activities revolve around my family. I rarely go to an SJU game without someone in my family, and that's the best part of it for me.

I realize you are talking your kids here so I am not being in any way flippant or disrespectful, I am commenting as a parent myself on real life not basketball.. You say you've told your kids not to call you if they get arrested but cops are people too and mistakes are made by all human beings. If your kids were arrested but are innocent of the charges wouldn't you want to be the one they turn to? Me, I feel differently, I agree almost entirely with your description of parenting in the last paragraph but I will be there for all members of my family regardless (11 brothers and sisters and countless nieces and nephews, etc.). Not saying either view is right or wrong at all; different strokes for different folks.

In no way, shape or form is this a knock on Beast, who I happen to know is a wonderful parent. But the only thing I might add is that it wouldn't matter if my kid was innocent or guilty, as pissed off at him/her as I'd be, I'd go get his/her ass out of jail. And then I'd rip him/her a new one. Actually from some of the biggest mistakes my kids have made, I've found the opportunity for some of my best teaching moments. Thankfully I haven't seen repeats of the same big mistakes twice, but there's never a shortage of new ones when it comes to teenagers But as you do, I do not tell anyone how to parent. There's no blueprint and no "one size fits all" method.

Could not agree more. As a parent of two, one a 28 yeard old gal who made parenting too easy and a mid 20 year old male who also gave me the opportunity for many, many "teaching moments" inhis teen years, I hear you. Thankfully, my son grew up without my worst fears during those years being realized and has left his wild days behind. Parenting is not easy and there truly is no formula. Finally, I do not know Beast but I don't doubt for a second he is a wonderful parent. While he and I disagree on many matters of SJU basketball and sometimes give the needle both ways he strikes me as nothing but a solid person.

Thank you. The respect is mutual, Logen.

Thanks right back at you; what makes this a great site IMO.

All I can add to this, is to say I'm glad I raised 3 daughters who never gave me cause to get them from the police in the middle of the night. That said, I am frankly not surprised that Obepka who in my opinion has displayed an arrogant disregard for authority during games was caught committing an act that in this context at least was stupid and selfish. Does that fall back on the coach? Yes, it does. If my kids got suspended from school for a dumb act, it would certainly be a commentary on my parenting, just as the conduct of the Redmen in Pittsburg was a reflection of the arrogant A-hole who was supposed to be their mentor then. Kids have to take responsibility for their actions, but that doesn't give their parents (or coaches) a pass.

My daughter played varsity bball as an 8th grader. As soon as rosters were finalized the coach warned players about any behavior that would be dealt with harshly. He especially wanred about exposing an 8th grader to any activties that would be more appropriate for juniors and seniors, but not 8th graders. Sure enough, a senior ahd a pre-season party at her house with parents away where there was lots of alcohol. They player was their star, and the coach did nothing but get mad.

THAT coach is accountable to an extent for not enforcing his own rules. Lavin enforced rules, he SHOULDN'T be held accountable here.

 

[beast of the east]

/did I miss Obekpa's apology to fans, SJU and teammates?

 

[TonyinFairfield]

/did I miss Obekpa's apology to fans, SJU and teammates?

Hmmmm. Good point. No, I did not hear of any such apology.

 

[Class of 72]

/did I miss Obekpa's apology to fans, SJU and teammates?

.

His press privileges are also suspended. However, a rumor, started by Marco Baldi, has him leaving school to start an agricultural venture with his best friend in Nigeria. I'm going to miss him man!!!!

[/quote]

 

[Class of 72]

His press privileges are also suspended.
A rumor started by Marco Baldi says he is leaving the program to start an organic agricultural venture with his best friend. I, for one, will miss his mile high smile.

[/quote]

 

[Jack Williams]

 

[SJU85]

I'm not scanning through 32 pages, he got suspended for weed?

I'm not a Lavin apologist, but how is this his fault? If this is true, this bozo goes out and gets high before his (probable) only NCAA Tournament?? What the eff was/is he thinking?

Was the Pittsburgh strip club incident at least partly Jarvis' fault?

This is what it's come to? It's not Obekpa's fault? He smoked the weed. It was an instant gratification move on his part. I'm assuming there was no gun to his head and considering he's the only one suspended, he didn't puff it with anyone else on the team.

I wouldn't miss Lavin one bit, but blaming him for this is a mistake. CO made a stupid decision, one he'll have to live with the rest of his life.

I blame him more for the culture then for the actual act. There's been a pattern.

I don't even know what to say to this. Unless Lavin rolled it and shotgunned into his mouth or packed the bowl and said "smoke this ish or else," I'm not blaming him.

I'm sorry. People have to still be accountable for their own actions. I know society always needs a scapegoat, and God knows Lavin can be blamed for other things (or his inability to coach properly) but this is ALL Obekpa's fault.

He smoked (allegedly, I guess), he knew what was at stake, and he had his greatest game ahead of him and HE STILL DID IT. Not Lavin, OBEKPA did it. He cost himself and, probably, cost the entire team. Selfish. Point blank

Agree with everything you're saying other than to give Lavin a complete pass on this. When my kids-20 and 16 years old-do something stupid I blame them, but I also take partial blame as the parent. So maybe its just my perspective on things.

It's not only what he did, but when he did it. He gets caught doing this in June after school is over, it doesn't bother me so much. Even in April or May after the season is over. But now he has affected the outcome of their season, and that's not forgivable. If any of my kids at that age do something like that, I'm not to blame, and I certainly would hold them fully accountable - not their roommates, friends, teachers, or coaches. Put the blame where blame belongs, and you're a better parent. Take some of the blame, and you're giving them a crutch.

Beast I said pretty much the exact same thing about the timing of this in another post. FWIW while I take some of the blame when my kids screw up, I don't share that with them. If my kid(s) continually screw up then the way I see it I didn't do such a good job as parent. But as I mentioned before, maybe that's just me.

I've always said to my kids, half seriously, before you get in the car with someone who is under the influence or feel unsafe in any way, call me. No matter where I am I will come get you or make sure you are safe. On the other hand, I've told them if they ever get arrested, don't call me.

Monte, I understand what you are saying, but as parents we are only one part of our children's environment, and not responsible for their actions. You are responsible for teaching them right from wrong, for providing for them opportunities that perhaps we didn't have, and for disciplining them when they step out of line. If you are a poor example, as in do as I say but not as I do, then, yea are somewhat accountable when they do some of the things you do and it gets them in trouble. But at some point, you're not to blame. I have friends who have worked hard as parents, and have problem children - not their fault. On the other hand, almost all of my social activities revolve around my family. I rarely go to an SJU game without someone in my family, and that's the best part of it for me.

I realize you are talking your kids here so I am not being in any way flippant or disrespectful, I am commenting as a parent myself on real life not basketball.. You say you've told your kids not to call you if they get arrested but cops are people too and mistakes are made by all human beings. If your kids were arrested but are innocent of the charges wouldn't you want to be the one they turn to? Me, I feel differently, I agree almost entirely with your description of parenting in the last paragraph but I will be there for all members of my family regardless (11 brothers and sisters and countless nieces and nephews, etc.). Not saying either view is right or wrong at all; different strokes for different folks.

In no way, shape or form is this a knock on Beast, who I happen to know is a wonderful parent. But the only thing I might add is that it wouldn't matter if my kid was innocent or guilty, as pissed off at him/her as I'd be, I'd go get his/her ass out of jail. And then I'd rip him/her a new one. Actually from some of the biggest mistakes my kids have made, I've found the opportunity for some of my best teaching moments. Thankfully I haven't seen repeats of the same big mistakes twice, but there's never a shortage of new ones when it comes to teenagers But as you do, I do not tell anyone how to parent. There's no blueprint and no "one size fits all" method.

Could not agree more. As a parent of two, one a 28 yeard old gal who made parenting too easy and a mid 20 year old male who also gave me the opportunity for many, many "teaching moments" inhis teen years, I hear you. Thankfully, my son grew up without my worst fears during those years being realized and has left his wild days behind. Parenting is not easy and there truly is no formula. Finally, I do not know Beast but I don't doubt for a second he is a wonderful parent. While he and I disagree on many matters of SJU basketball and sometimes give the needle both ways he strikes me as nothing but a solid person.

Thank you. The respect is mutual, Logen.

Thanks right back at you; what makes this a great site IMO.

All I can add to this, is to say I'm glad I raised 3 daughters who never gave me cause to get them from the police in the middle of the night. That said, I am frankly not surprised that Obepka who in my opinion has displayed an arrogant disregard for authority during games was caught committing an act that in this context at least was stupid and selfish. Does that fall back on the coach? Yes, it does. If my kids got suspended from school for a dumb act, it would certainly be a commentary on my parenting, just as the conduct of the Redmen in Pittsburg was a reflection of the arrogant A-hole who was supposed to be their mentor then. Kids have to take responsibility for their actions, but that doesn't give their parents (or coaches) a pass.

People need to take responsibility for their own actions and stop blaming others or have others look to spread the blame around.. If a parent leads by example and is a good parent but a child still winds up making bad decisions, how is that the parent's fault?

I am tired of the repeated drama with this team over the past few years. However, Obekpa is 18 years old, I think he knew what he was doing and knew the consequences and took the chance anyway. That was his decision. This is strictly on him.

 

[Ricky Smith]

His press privileges are also suspended.
A rumor started by Marco Baldi says he is leaving the program to start an organic agricultural venture with his best friend. I, for one, will miss his mile high smile.

[/quote]

Boring