Rysheed Jordan Release
- Thread starter paultzman
- Start date
beast of the east
Active member
[quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.
[quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.
[quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.
[quote="Logen" post=371619][quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.
[quote="Monte" post=371622][quote="Logen" post=371619][quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."
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[quote="newsman13" post=371639]Watch The Joker...a textbook case of mental illness. I've seen enough of these cases in person. It's more than meds and support groups and hows. Just know, no one is looking for real answers.[/quote]
A whole different topic unless you consider this situation to be one of mental illness, without something concrete to the contrary, I certainly don't.
A whole different topic unless you consider this situation to be one of mental illness, without something concrete to the contrary, I certainly don't.
[quote="Logen" post=371644][quote="newsman13" post=371639]Watch The Joker...a textbook case of mental illness. I've seen enough of these cases in person. It's more than meds and support groups and hows. Just know, no one is looking for real answers.[/quote]
A whole different topic unless you consider this situation to be one of mental illness, without something concrete to the contrary, I certainly don't.[/quote]
I'll defer to your expertise, doctor.
A whole different topic unless you consider this situation to be one of mental illness, without something concrete to the contrary, I certainly don't.[/quote]
I'll defer to your expertise, doctor.
My original now deceased psychiatrist mentor (from more than five decades ago) and one of my current teaching partners both have focused on changes in brain development (hippocampus) associated with acute and chronic stress and trauma.
This stuff is still being discovered and the boundaries of what is illness are not yet well defined.
This stuff is still being discovered and the boundaries of what is illness are not yet well defined.
[quote="newsman13" post=371645][quote="Logen" post=371644][quote="newsman13" post=371639]Watch The Joker...a textbook case of mental illness. I've seen enough of these cases in person. It's more than meds and support groups and hows. Just know, no one is looking for real answers.[/quote]
A whole different topic unless you consider this situation to be one of mental illness, without something concrete to the contrary, I certainly don't.[/quote]
I'll defer to your expertise, doctor.[/quote]
Thanks, I guess I missed the part where every criminal act is caused by mental illness. Send me the movie I can learn that from please, that’s where I always go for my information.
A whole different topic unless you consider this situation to be one of mental illness, without something concrete to the contrary, I certainly don't.[/quote]
I'll defer to your expertise, doctor.[/quote]
Thanks, I guess I missed the part where every criminal act is caused by mental illness. Send me the movie I can learn that from please, that’s where I always go for my information.
[quote="Logen" post=371638][quote="Monte" post=371622][quote="Logen" post=371619][quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.
beast of the east
Active member
Back in the days where I worked in a hospital in Harlem, where nearly all of the support personnel were reflective of uptown Manhattan, as a young administrator most of my closest friends there were those same people.
I once asked this great guy named Larnell if he had ever gotten into any trouble at all with the police while growing up.
"No, never. I was afraid to."
"Afraid of going to jail?".
"No. Afraid of what my father would do to me if a policeman rang my doorbell."
Mental illness, trauma, abusive childhood all get trumped by the fear that the resultant consequence was far worse than the benefit of any activity that would render such.
I once asked this great guy named Larnell if he had ever gotten into any trouble at all with the police while growing up.
"No, never. I was afraid to."
"Afraid of going to jail?".
"No. Afraid of what my father would do to me if a policeman rang my doorbell."
Mental illness, trauma, abusive childhood all get trumped by the fear that the resultant consequence was far worse than the benefit of any activity that would render such.
JackofVirginia
Active member
[quote="panther2" post=371676][quote="Logen" post=371638][quote="Monte" post=371622][quote="Logen" post=371619][quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quo
Interesting. Just started reading Demi Moore's book. After being raped by her mother's boy friend he told Demi that her mother whoored her out for $500. Both parents were losers hung out on drugs and alcohol, which Demi turned to as well.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quo
Interesting. Just started reading Demi Moore's book. After being raped by her mother's boy friend he told Demi that her mother whoored her out for $500. Both parents were losers hung out on drugs and alcohol, which Demi turned to as well.
[quote="Beast of the East" post=371677]Back in the days where I worked in a hospital in Harlem, where nearly all of the support personnel were reflective of uptown Manhattan, as a young administrator most of my closest friends there were those same people.
I once asked this great guy named Larnell if he had ever gotten into any trouble at all with the police while growing up.
"No, never. I was afraid to."
"Afraid of going to jail?".
"No. Afraid of what my father would do to me if a policeman rang my doorbell."
Mental illness, trauma, abusive childhood all get trumped by the fear that the resultant consequence was far worse than the benefit of any activity that would render such.[/quote]
Unfortunately, more often than not, there's no father in the home.
I once asked this great guy named Larnell if he had ever gotten into any trouble at all with the police while growing up.
"No, never. I was afraid to."
"Afraid of going to jail?".
"No. Afraid of what my father would do to me if a policeman rang my doorbell."
Mental illness, trauma, abusive childhood all get trumped by the fear that the resultant consequence was far worse than the benefit of any activity that would render such.[/quote]
Unfortunately, more often than not, there's no father in the home.
[quote="panther2" post=371676][quote="Logen" post=371638][quote="Monte" post=371622][quote="Logen" post=371619][quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quote]
In answer to your question Panther; no I cannot imagine. The idea that a parent, let alone a mother, would do that to their little girl is beyond my comprehension. But then again, so is a lot of other s _ _ t that goes on in the world today. I pray that young lady was able to rise above that horrendous experience (and I’m sure many others) and lead a productive life.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quote]
In answer to your question Panther; no I cannot imagine. The idea that a parent, let alone a mother, would do that to their little girl is beyond my comprehension. But then again, so is a lot of other s _ _ t that goes on in the world today. I pray that young lady was able to rise above that horrendous experience (and I’m sure many others) and lead a productive life.
This is the place where I come to get away from this stuff and I know I can't run and have shared with some of the people on this thread an approach to counter attack the issues of behavioral health impacting athlete's lives, but still, it truly sucks when one of our kids falls.
[quote="panther2" post=371676][quote="Logen" post=371638][quote="Monte" post=371622][quote="Logen" post=371619][quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quote]
Panther FWIW, I was reacting to Monte’s reply to me, not your original point. I understand and agree with you about support groups, what I was trying to communicate is that ultimately, the “how” Jordan or anyone else uses to right themselves has to be a personal decision and commitment, no support group can do it for you. Having said that, of course, assimilating the advice of others into your “how” (and I merely was trying to say is have a solid, achievable plan, don’t just drift hoping to turn things around) and genuine support coming from people who care about you are absolutely vital to succeeding. And I share your hope that Jordan does turn his life around.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quote]
Panther FWIW, I was reacting to Monte’s reply to me, not your original point. I understand and agree with you about support groups, what I was trying to communicate is that ultimately, the “how” Jordan or anyone else uses to right themselves has to be a personal decision and commitment, no support group can do it for you. Having said that, of course, assimilating the advice of others into your “how” (and I merely was trying to say is have a solid, achievable plan, don’t just drift hoping to turn things around) and genuine support coming from people who care about you are absolutely vital to succeeding. And I share your hope that Jordan does turn his life around.
[quote="Logen" post=371945][quote="panther2" post=371676][quote="Logen" post=371638][quote="Monte" post=371622][quote="Logen" post=371619][quote="panther2" post=371591][quote="Beast of the East" post=371536][quote="fuchsia" post=371525]Beast, I agree with your sentiment, but my impression is that we are so lagging in treatment for trauma, particularly childhood trauma, that this is a much tougher road than most of us imagine. Having a strong loving role model may be a critical factor.[/quote]
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quote]
Panther FWIW, I was reacting to Monte’s reply to me, not your original point. I understand and agree with you about support groups, what I was trying to communicate is that ultimately, the “how” Jordan or anyone else uses to right themselves has to be a personal decision and commitment, no support group can do it for you. Having said that, of course, assimilating the advice of others into your “how” (and I merely was trying to say is have a solid, achievable plan, don’t just drift hoping to turn things around) and genuine support coming from people who care about you are absolutely vital to succeeding. And I share your hope that Jordan does turn his life around.[/quote]
Logen I’m all for personable responsibility as well, and I’m the first to say “no one is gonna do it for you!”. No person, certainly no politician, no one! Having said that, not everyone is blessed with a Grandmother like yours, and not everyone is born with the same set of tools to deal with temptation. And I suspect that your Grandmother was probably far from the only strong role model in your family. I am the oldest of 4. Total of 5 years apart. Same parents, growing up in same house at same time. All I’m gonna say is that we didn’t all take the same paths. I knew lots of others kids from lots of other families(Black, white and Spanish) who had a similar situationS. Some kids need more help then others on getting their lives on track, and then keeping them on track. I guess it’s sort of like AA in that you need to surround yourself with a strong support group if you’re going to make a big change in your life.
Unfortunately this is a road that far too many inner city kids travel.[/quote]
It all depends on the support system that is in place for Rysheed. I have dealt with many inner city youth who have dealt with childhood trauma in my work and also basketball. What he needs now is someone he trusts and who will tell him the truth.
As counselors and therapists, sometime we get caught up in promoting different different types of therapy. Someone told me early in my professional career, "before a patient cares about how much you know, they have to know how much you care". I found this to be true.[/quote]
Excellent point! I would add a quote from Chris Voss, an FBI hostage negotiator who wrote an excellent book on the art of negotiation, “Yes means nothing without How”. Meaning in this case, if Jordan does truly intend on taking advantage of this second chance, have a plan, set short term attainable goals and work hard towards achieving them and move forward and upward by building on those achievements.[/quote]
If he has surrounded himself with a strong support group, then they will help him figure out "how". If he hasn't, then 'how" is moot.[/quote]
Support groups are fine and most certainly can he helpful so this comment is no knock on them in any way shape or form, but I am a personal responsibility guy and at some point we all have to decide for ourselves our path in life, nobody can do it for you. I don't look in the mirror with a support group.
To add, again from the biggest influence in my life, my grandmother (Nanny), (paraphrasing) "You don't need other people to tell you if you made a good decision in life - just ask yourself when your head hits the pillow whether it makes you feel good or bad about yourself, unless you are so far gone you'd bullshit yourself, you'll know."[/quote]
I didn't mean a support group per se, meant having a network of people around him that will tell him the truth. From your post Logen, your grandmother was supportive of you. I have had players and clients who were not raised, they just grew up. Many had absentee parents, or parents who were strung out on drugs or alcohol. Many of you would be surprised at how many young people grow up in dysfunctional households.
There are many examples that I could give but I will share this one. In the 80's, I was the Director of an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program in the Bronx. A 15 year old girl who was in treatment, shared about her mother forcing her to have sex with the mother's boyfriend. Can you imagine a young girl's mother telling her she needed to sleep with the mother's boyfriend because he said he would leave the mother if he couldn't have the daughter also. The worse part about it was that others in the group had the same experience.
What I have learned is to never judge anyone's behavior. None of us really know the circumstances in another person's life.
In regards to Rysheed, I will continue to pray for him and wish him the best.[/quote]
Panther FWIW, I was reacting to Monte’s reply to me, not your original point. I understand and agree with you about support groups, what I was trying to communicate is that ultimately, the “how” Jordan or anyone else uses to right themselves has to be a personal decision and commitment, no support group can do it for you. Having said that, of course, assimilating the advice of others into your “how” (and I merely was trying to say is have a solid, achievable plan, don’t just drift hoping to turn things around) and genuine support coming from people who care about you are absolutely vital to succeeding. And I share your hope that Jordan does turn his life around.[/quote]
Logen I’m all for personable responsibility as well, and I’m the first to say “no one is gonna do it for you!”. No person, certainly no politician, no one! Having said that, not everyone is blessed with a Grandmother like yours, and not everyone is born with the same set of tools to deal with temptation. And I suspect that your Grandmother was probably far from the only strong role model in your family. I am the oldest of 4. Total of 5 years apart. Same parents, growing up in same house at same time. All I’m gonna say is that we didn’t all take the same paths. I knew lots of others kids from lots of other families(Black, white and Spanish) who had a similar situationS. Some kids need more help then others on getting their lives on track, and then keeping them on track. I guess it’s sort of like AA in that you need to surround yourself with a strong support group if you’re going to make a big change in your life.
