Jokes to ease the tension
- Thread starter Eric
- Start date
Spocky Ramone
Well-known member
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar…
Hey, it could happen…
Hey, it could happen…
Trigger Alert !!!
A man walks into a bar and orders three pints of beer.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender tells the man, "You know, a mug goes flat after I pour it.
It might taste better if you bought one at a time."
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When the three of us moved away from home , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The man goes on to become a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. Ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two drafts. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The man looks at the bartender for a moment, before realizing the meaning of his confusion.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. It hasn't affected my brothers though.”
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender tells the man, "You know, a mug goes flat after I pour it.
It might taste better if you bought one at a time."
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When the three of us moved away from home , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The man goes on to become a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. Ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two drafts. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The man looks at the bartender for a moment, before realizing the meaning of his confusion.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. It hasn't affected my brothers though.”
What do you call a midget without legs after he's been thrown into a swimming pool?
Bob
Bob
Spocky Ramone
Well-known member
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who’s under a pile of leaves?
Russell
Spocky Ramone
Well-known member
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who’s laying in front of the door?
Matt
Matt
Spocky Ramone
Well-known member
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who’s Laying in a hole?
Phil
Phil
Young kid knocks on Billy's door and Billy's mom answers.
Young kid to mom, Can Billy come out and play baseball with us.
Mom to young kid, that's mean you know Billy doesn't have arms and legs!
Young kid to mom, that's okay we just need a second base.
Young kid to mom, Can Billy come out and play baseball with us.
Mom to young kid, that's mean you know Billy doesn't have arms and legs!
Young kid to mom, that's okay we just need a second base.
Silly Donovan
Well-known member
Here’s an oldie but goodie……
A woman looking for a husband puts an in the paper add that reads…..
WANTED….
A GOOD MAN WHO WILL NEVER HOLD ANOTHER WOMAN
WILL NEVER RUN AWAY
IS A GREAT LOVER
A few days later she hears the doorbell ring but when she answers it, there’s no one there. After going back to watching tv, the doorbell rings again only this time when she answers it there is a man with no arms or legs who says…”down here”
The man proceeds to tell her he is here for the ad she placed, to which she replied, “how do you think you are qualified” while she laughed.
The msn stated…. “ I have no arms so I can never hold anyone else”, “ I have no legs so I can never run away” and with that, the woman laughing says to him “oh yeah and what about the great lover part ha ha ha ha”. To which the man boldly responds….. “I RANG THE DOORBELL DIDN’T I?”
A woman looking for a husband puts an in the paper add that reads…..
WANTED….
A GOOD MAN WHO WILL NEVER HOLD ANOTHER WOMAN
WILL NEVER RUN AWAY
IS A GREAT LOVER
A few days later she hears the doorbell ring but when she answers it, there’s no one there. After going back to watching tv, the doorbell rings again only this time when she answers it there is a man with no arms or legs who says…”down here”
The man proceeds to tell her he is here for the ad she placed, to which she replied, “how do you think you are qualified” while she laughed.
The msn stated…. “ I have no arms so I can never hold anyone else”, “ I have no legs so I can never run away” and with that, the woman laughing says to him “oh yeah and what about the great lover part ha ha ha ha”. To which the man boldly responds….. “I RANG THE DOORBELL DIDN’T I?”