Thanks for the head's up anal retentive nitwit who writes in ALL CAPS. (Hey Dinkins, get in here, I think I found Realfan!!) It turns out though that I was quoting a popular song by a band called the Weasels, which song by the Weasels took as its starting point scholarship from the British Columbia Folklore Society in reference to the eponymous novel by Chris Brookmyre. Viz.:
1. Many slight variants of the first line exist. Among the more popular are:
“One day…”
“One bright day…”
“One bright morning…”
“Early in the morning, late at night”
“Early one morning, late at night”
“Late last night in the middle of the morning”
also
“‘Twas on a dark and moonlit night”
and
“One dark night in the middle of the day,
Two dead boys got up to play.”
[and]
“Late one night in the middle of the day,
Two dead soldiers got up to fight.”
I used that source because when it comes to doggerel who knows better than Canuckleheads.
Other than that you made some excellent points. Write again soon.