THIS is what St. John's is all about

My deepest sympathies to you and your family. All the very best during this terrible time.
 
We often hear about the St. John's community and how people can rally around you in times of difficulty. Unfortunately, I experienced that myself.

I won't bore you all with the details but suffice to say that on April 28, my first grandchild, a boy, Theodore Lucca was delivered by c-section. He was only three weeks early, so everyone thought it would be fine. Unfortunately, it wasn't. He had under-developed lungs and had difficulty breathing on his own.

Two days later, on Sunday, April 30, little Theo passed away comfortably in his mother's and father's arms. As you can imagine, this has devastated us, especially my son and his wife. And I'm not looking for sympathy here. I want to tell you how St. John's came through for us.

I'm sure many of you know Rino at St. John's. He heard about this from a good friend of mine who used to work with him at St. John's. Rino arranged for a Mass to be said in my grandson's memory just this morning at 8:00 AM at St. Thomas More on campus. My wife and I drove down and we were pleasantly surprised to see Rino there, along with other friends of ours from basketball games. Father Rock said the Mass and had some wonderful things to say about my grandson and us being there. It was a very moving and emotional Mass. And I will forever be grateful to the St. John's community, specifically Rino, for being there for us at this time.

If any of you have children or grandchildren, the very next time you see them, even if it is later today, give them a hug and tell them how much you love them. No matter how old they are; teenagers, young adults; and no matter how embarrassed that may feel, do it. Because despite our passion for St. John's basketball, and our opinions and disagreements, family is what really matters.[/quote

So So sorry life is hard at times and we say why !!! God bless your family
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Very sorry. Life is so precious and so fragile. I will pray for you and your family.
 
Tony, Jack
At the risk of offering unsolicited "advice" you can google
Catherine Woodiwiss - I came across her article
" Ten things I've learned About Trauma"
# 6
Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not. Do not. Do not.
"I'm so sorry you lost your son ( grandson), we lost our dog last year"..."You'll be stronger when it's over"...God works in all things for the good"...
Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her/his own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while..."
Love to you both
In
The sense of a fellow poster who cares.
SS&G
 
Sorry for your loss Tony, will keep you and your Family in prayer. St. Johns is a different kind of school. It is a place where people care about each other.

Over the past few weeks, I have attended Glen Williams induction into the Oldtimers Hall of Fame in Brooklyn. Glen was to sick to be there and his former teammate, Georege Johnson, gave an emotional acceptance speech in his behalf. Coaches Carnesecca, Mahoney, and Rutledge were there along with some more of Glen's teammates, Gordon Thomas and Ralph Menar. Ron Naclerio, Tarik Turner, and Sam Albano were also in attendance.

Next I went to Solly Walker's funeral and along with the coaches mentioned above, were Chris Mullin and Matt Abdelmassih. Mel Davis delivered a fine speech on behalf of St Johns, even mentioning that Solly Walkeer who also attende Boys High School was his inspiration for attending St. JohnsThere must have been at least 30 people there who were associated with St Johns.

Finally I attended Glen Williams funeral earlier this week and a lot of his former teammates were there including Frank Alagia and Ed Searcy along with those who attended the dinner.

I share this to show that the relationships that develop while students at St. Johns, don't end with graduation, but are lifelong experiences.
 
Sorry for your loss Tony, will keep you and your Family in prayer. St. Johns is a different kind of school. It is a place where people care about each other.

Over the past few weeks, I have attended Glen Williams induction into the Oldtimers Hall of Fame in Brooklyn. Glen was to sick to be there and his former teammate, Georege Johnson, gave an emotional acceptance speech in his behalf. Coaches Carnesecca, Mahoney, and Rutledge were there along with some more of Glen's teammates, Gordon Thomas and Ralph Menar. Ron Naclerio, Tarik Turner, and Sam Albano were also in attendance.

Next I went to Solly Walker's funeral and along with the coaches mentioned above, were Chris Mullin and Matt Abdelmassih. Mel Davis delivered a fine speech on behalf of St Johns, even mentioning that Solly Walkeer who also attende Boys High School was his inspiration for attending St. JohnsThere must have been at least 30 people there who were associated with St Johns.

Finally I attended Glen Williams funeral earlier this week and a lot of his former teammates were there including Frank Alagia and Ed Searcy along with those who attended the dinner.

I share this to show that the relationships that develop while students at St. Johns, don't end with graduation, but are lifelong experiences.
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Thanks for sharing your story. Just reinforces my belief in the St. John's community. And it's not just the people we see in person. The responses to posters on this forum, both publicly and in PMs, has been so uplifting and provides some sense of comfort for us. We Are St. John's.
 
Tony,

I wanted to gather my thoughts before replying to you. You are without a doubt one of the really good men that post here, one that makes me proud of the SJU community that I'm a part of.

The loss of a child, who took so few breaths in this world, and whose parents and grandparents waited for so anxiously, is devastating.

When my wife was pregnant with our second child later in the second trimester, she awoke in the middle of the night, realizing she was bleeding. We immediately called her OB/Gyn physician, who advised her to get dressed and he would meet us at the hospital. As my wife went to the bathroom to get cleaned up and dressed, he told me to stay on the phone, and prepared me that we almost certainly had lost the baby. My heart sank with a sense of loss, and as we drove to the hospital struggled for what to say to my wife, who still did not know. My wife has a medical background, if not for life's circumstances would have gone to med school I am certain, and I'm also certain she knew the unspoken truth.

Minutes dragged on and I silently mourned the loss of our child who had never draw a breath in this world, and how God had shortchanged her. Strangely, I didn't mourn our loss, and all my thoughts were with this baby in the womb. Not for some mass of cells, but for this unborn child. I was beyond sad, but also prepared myself to support my wife when the horrible news was delivered.

We were rushed into the emergency room and while we waited for the doctor, a sonogram technician came in to do the routine as per the doctor's instructions - confirm that there was no heartbeat and that we had lost the child.

In an instant, elated, the technician burst out, "I hear a heartbeat!! It's STRONG". She continued to move the sonogram wand with that awfully cold jelly that put on my wife's abdomen. "Look!", she cried out, "The baby is moving around! I think it's fine!"

Immediately, from the depths of sadness, I was overjoyed to tears. The baby looked like one of those monkeys between two sticks that they used to sell at the circus, moving around like a tiny acrobat. The doctor came in and after examining my wife and confirming the good news, explained that there was likely some minor tearing on the placenta that caused the bleeding, but it had stopped.

Tony, I tell you this story, not to contrast your grandchild's bad fortune with our positive outcome, but to express just how precious human life is, even at 2 weeks, even in the womb. I know your loss is profound and deep. I also have faith that there will be better days ahead, with God's grace maybe a slew of grandchildren.

If it brings any solace to you, I'm reminded of a song by Seals and Crofts, "Wayland the rabbit". It's about a boy walking with his father and encounters a dead rabbit frozen in the woods. You can find the lyrics on line. The song stayed with me all these years. Sometimes there is God's mercy in the taking of an ill child so young. I know it's gross rationalization, but I'm guessing your family has thought about this also.

http://www.metrolyrics.com/wayland-the-rabbit-lyrics-seals-and-crofts.html

God bless you and your family, and I apologize for any unintended pain this post may cause you. Trust that I only posted it in support, and you and your family remain in my prayers for healing, and that your grandchild is at this moment in God's comfort and care in His kingdom.
 
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