beast of the east
Active member
First of all, I want to thank all of you who texted me, called me, private messaged me, and posted on here about my whereabouts. I am overwhelmed and touched by your concern.
The truth is, without going into detail, is that my family has been dealing with a situation that we have little control over, yet one that requires a positive outlook and the long view on remediation. It is a painful and heartbreaking process, and strikes at the core of what we value as a family. One a daily basis, my wife and I reassure each other, and are hopeful for a positive outcome in the near future. It is not a health concern, I want you to know that.
Coming on here during our slower than expected Big East start, the barrage of negativity, even as I have endeavored to be positive through our own family crisis, had become too much for me. Though a minority of posters, I found myself in a few confrontational exchanges with persinal behavior I am not proud of and was not helping my outlook. This site has been a respite for me for many years from the rigors of a stressful job, or other life situations. I've made great friends here, and many of who I have met in person or simply have become what one of my kids playfully taunts as "my internet friends".
So, first to my "internet friends", I'd like to express deep thanks for those of you whom I've shared the details of issues we face, and have been amazing. Paul has called me, where we spoke for a couple of hours, and has kept tabs on our wellness. If you didn't know it already, he is an amazingly bright and good person, and I'm indebted to him for his kindness. The rest of you know who you are. Many of you who reached out are people who I frequently disagree with online. It's never gotten too personal, and I've already felt that dialogue for open minded people can be enlightening even when there is an opposing opinion.
What I apologize for is allowing myself to get drawn into confrontations by those who bait, put words in my mouth, or mischaracterize completely previous posts. To that extent, I did not repeatedly advocate banishing Zaun from the main board, even if his demotion to me at least was a pleasant reprieve from repetitive posts that tested the patience of even our mods. Much of his "factual pronouncements" were vitriol spewed as fact by one or two posters that took a life on of their own. It was an insidious attempt to character assassinate our coach and staff, for reasons that aren't too healthy.
I digress but my weakness is that I cast myself in the role of protector, much like the role Bradley Cooper played in American sniper. I continually seek to protect my family, my friends, and even co-workers and employees, sometimes for people well capable of defending themselves, or would ignore such nonsense. A few times I here, I defended other posters from personal attacks, and in process have become close friends with them. Way too long an explanation, but in short Redmen.com became a place that was no longer a source of fraternity and support, no longer a short break from work or family stresses, but a place of confrontation. Some people thrive on that. I don't.
I would say to those of you, all of you actually, that St. John's is a community. I used to envy students at schools my kids considered or attended, who would openly gush about how happy they were to be there, what a great decision on their part to be surrounded by so many great people.at a great school. However, I now feel this way about St. John's. I have friends in administration, on various boards including one I serve on, in the athletic department, and even some coaches. But most of all, many of you, the guys among us who really understand that "We Are St. John's" has little to do with basketball, and lots to do with a great community of good men and women who are proud of our university, its traditions, and mission to the poor.
I don't know when I'll return to active posting. It may be tomorrow, or may be somewhere down the road. Considering a tough road game tonight at Providence, tomorrow may not be the best day to return. I do want you all to know that there is greatness among us, and I've experienced it these past few days and weeks by the messages and interactions from those of you who reached out. We ARE St. John's, and I'm grateful for being accepted here and feel about as privileged as I did on day one as a student to be part of it all.
The truth is, without going into detail, is that my family has been dealing with a situation that we have little control over, yet one that requires a positive outlook and the long view on remediation. It is a painful and heartbreaking process, and strikes at the core of what we value as a family. One a daily basis, my wife and I reassure each other, and are hopeful for a positive outcome in the near future. It is not a health concern, I want you to know that.
Coming on here during our slower than expected Big East start, the barrage of negativity, even as I have endeavored to be positive through our own family crisis, had become too much for me. Though a minority of posters, I found myself in a few confrontational exchanges with persinal behavior I am not proud of and was not helping my outlook. This site has been a respite for me for many years from the rigors of a stressful job, or other life situations. I've made great friends here, and many of who I have met in person or simply have become what one of my kids playfully taunts as "my internet friends".
So, first to my "internet friends", I'd like to express deep thanks for those of you whom I've shared the details of issues we face, and have been amazing. Paul has called me, where we spoke for a couple of hours, and has kept tabs on our wellness. If you didn't know it already, he is an amazingly bright and good person, and I'm indebted to him for his kindness. The rest of you know who you are. Many of you who reached out are people who I frequently disagree with online. It's never gotten too personal, and I've already felt that dialogue for open minded people can be enlightening even when there is an opposing opinion.
What I apologize for is allowing myself to get drawn into confrontations by those who bait, put words in my mouth, or mischaracterize completely previous posts. To that extent, I did not repeatedly advocate banishing Zaun from the main board, even if his demotion to me at least was a pleasant reprieve from repetitive posts that tested the patience of even our mods. Much of his "factual pronouncements" were vitriol spewed as fact by one or two posters that took a life on of their own. It was an insidious attempt to character assassinate our coach and staff, for reasons that aren't too healthy.
I digress but my weakness is that I cast myself in the role of protector, much like the role Bradley Cooper played in American sniper. I continually seek to protect my family, my friends, and even co-workers and employees, sometimes for people well capable of defending themselves, or would ignore such nonsense. A few times I here, I defended other posters from personal attacks, and in process have become close friends with them. Way too long an explanation, but in short Redmen.com became a place that was no longer a source of fraternity and support, no longer a short break from work or family stresses, but a place of confrontation. Some people thrive on that. I don't.
I would say to those of you, all of you actually, that St. John's is a community. I used to envy students at schools my kids considered or attended, who would openly gush about how happy they were to be there, what a great decision on their part to be surrounded by so many great people.at a great school. However, I now feel this way about St. John's. I have friends in administration, on various boards including one I serve on, in the athletic department, and even some coaches. But most of all, many of you, the guys among us who really understand that "We Are St. John's" has little to do with basketball, and lots to do with a great community of good men and women who are proud of our university, its traditions, and mission to the poor.
I don't know when I'll return to active posting. It may be tomorrow, or may be somewhere down the road. Considering a tough road game tonight at Providence, tomorrow may not be the best day to return. I do want you all to know that there is greatness among us, and I've experienced it these past few days and weeks by the messages and interactions from those of you who reached out. We ARE St. John's, and I'm grateful for being accepted here and feel about as privileged as I did on day one as a student to be part of it all.
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